I quit drinking and discovered it's ok to be bored

Here is a tarot spread for moments when you want a drink but would prefer to quit as well as some reflections on sobriety

Happy Tuesday.

I gave up drinking in 2021 on New Years Eve. I have caved a couple of times since then although I promptly remembered why I quit, but I'm proud of my efforts. I'm so happy I no longer need alcohol in my life.

Today, rather than dive into the story of how I quit or why I chose to go sober, I'd like to share one of the gifts I've discovered along the way.

Going sober is like forming a pearl from the grit of the life left behind when you no longer drink. The pearls are still forming for me but at least I’ve opened the shell.

From restlessness to boredom

At first when I quit, I noticed, at the end of the day, when I'd closed my laptop and stacked the dishwasher, instead of pop, glug, glug, glug, slump, a whole evening of possibility stretched out in front of me.

Thing is I discovered a restlessness which had been well hidden by the effects of alcohol before. Two and a half years later I'm still curious about this continued restless state of mind. I'm befriending the emotion.

I could tell when I was restless. Most of all I noticed I'd pick up my phone and scroll through social media more often. Instead of a glass of bubbly to soothe myself with I'd look for something else to distract my mind.

I also reached for food for comfort. I would stand in front of the food cupboard staring at the contents and wondering what I could feed my desires with. Anything from breadsticks, to crisps, the kids oreo cookies or even dry crackers.

The urge to look at Instagram or eat a packet of crisps came from the same reason why I drank. I was restless and wanted the feeling to stop. But of course it didn’t. I’m not saying these urges to eat, drink or scroll have stopped but without the fuzziness of prosecco I’m able to create space to choose a more creative way forward at least sometimes.

Now when I'm restless I wait for the feeling to pass. I call it riding the wave.

Sometimes I choose to go out for a walk with my husband or listen to a good song in the kitchen.

The real treasure is when I notice how restless I am but don’t try and change a thing. I’m more at ease with the wave of restlessness and don’t have the urge to make it disappear. It’s simply another emotion in my day and I don’t need to be afraid of it.

I even let myself get bored. I do nothing at all.

From boredom to creativity

You don't have to fill your time. You can just sit and do nothing. You can be nobody at all. You don't have to create any fun or entertainment. Just the simple act of being alive can on the odd occasion feel like more than enough.

When I stopped drinking I realised it was totally ok to feel bored.

Is boredom even the right word for this? I'm not entirely sure but it's definitely a space in your life you don't feel you have to fill. A spaciousness you'll never find at the bottom of a bottle. A taste of contentment wine can't ever give you.

The thing is with this space I'm calling boredom, it can be a very receptive space. I have found my creativity at these edges of boredom and I don't want to turn my back on leaning into this creative energy more fully in my life.

Ride the wave Tarot Spread

Here's a tarot spread to try if you're embracing a sober life or even if you just want to give alcohol a break for a while. I'm calling it riding the wave because it's a spread to try in moments of temptation. It may be a distraction from the drink but it's a healthy one. If you are in need of help please reach out to professionals. Tarot can't solve all your problems it is more if a tool in your tool box.

When you feel the urge to drink, go find your deck, take a deep breath and try this 3 card spread. I'm with you.

1. What's happening in this moment?

2. How can I ride the wave?

3. What would be more nourishing than a drink right now.

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If you have enjoyed this post please do restack it, share it, or highlight your favourite line or let me know if you try out the spread.

Have you ever given up drinking? Would you like to?

Sending good wishes

Claire Amritavani Brown